These past months have been marked by waves- waves of lessons, waves of reflection, waves of emotions, waves of Truth. In the midst of them, I despise them. Afterwards...I despise them. Okay, lol, I'm kidding about the afterwards part. In reality, the Lord promises us that " suffering produces perseverance, perseverance produces character, character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us" (Romans 5:2-5). His word also reminds us that the "testing of our faith produces endurance, and the result of enduring is being mature and complete" (James 1:4). I believe this! One of the issues that I have is that after learning about one lesson, and the Lord teaching me through one wave, I start rejoi....here comes another one....
Let me clarify something: majority of these "waves" are not so much external things, as much as they are faulty conditions of my heart. Here are several of the ones I've experienced these past months, and what the Lord has taught, and is teaching me through it all.
1. Wave of me...wave of pride
This wave seemed to start off from a good place. The Lord bringing to my attention my sin. That's great right. Until...you leave it there. You see that story is incomplete. The Holy Spirit magnifies Jesus, not us, so the fact that I was fixated with what I was doing wrong, and how I have to do better, and how I am messed up, without responding by fixing my eyes on the beautiful Perfection of Jesus, is wrong.
Truth check: It is all about Jesus. (PERIOD). Really, it is ALL ABOUT JESUS. Sometimes I relate to God as if I think it's the Diana Show ft. Jesus Christ. I go about my day thinking about me, and then I sprinkle some Jesus in there. That is utterly messed up. It is all about Him. He is Lord over all. When revelation of sin, begins with sorrow and ends with me throwing a pity party about myself...I've missed the entire beautiful picture of the Gospel: Jesus choosing to lay down His perfect life for a sinful, broken, and messed up world.Verses: Romans 11:36 For from Him, and through Him and for Him are all things. To Him be glory forever!Amen.
2. Wave of "I need to make a drastic change"
This wave is characterized by me feeling, you guessed it, I need to make a drastic change. LOL. "Maybe I should drop out of grad school?" "Maybe I should go pursue acting?" "Maybe I should go lead worship?" "Maybe this?" "Maybe that." The reality is ...maybe I need to be still and seek the Lord right where I am. Ouch. But really? I know my last post was about the transition in seasons, and you would've thought that I'd get the memo, but nope. I still wrestled with.. the " I need to be doing something totally radical to be 'in the WILL OF GOD' mindset.
Truth check: Being ' in the will of God' doesn't always look like what we think it should look like. Don't get me wrong, the same elements will be there, but they might not be manifested in the way we might be expecting them. Dying to self, taking up our cross, doing justice, love mercy, growing in righteousness, beign transformed in the renewal of my mind...all these things are ' in the will of God', and God is cultivating them in me...right where I am now. When he wants us to move, He'll let us know. I don't have to go pining over trying to figure it out.
Verses: Micah 6:8 He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
Romans 12:2 Be not conformed to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may prove what is the good, perfect, acceptable will of God.
3. Wave of guilt and regret
This has been the most recent one, and it hurts in a unique way. I keep recounting a decision I've made in my head..and it has felt like it's been driving me crazy. Ive cried about it, Ive prayed about it, I've thought about it, I've dreamt about it (well, more like a nightmare..and woke Khory up in the middle of the night with my crying...he's the best!), and I've thought about it some more.
Truth check: Although I may not be able to see the end of this one yet, I know that God will work through this. And that is all I need to know.
Verse: Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.
What waves have you encountered? and what has the LORD taught you through them? Id love to hear about it,
Be encouraged, He will bring the good work He has begun in us to completion :)